


Bastard Fate

by Taurus_Moon17



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Backstory, Betrayal, F/M, First Love, Masturbation, Origin Story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:07:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27330961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taurus_Moon17/pseuds/Taurus_Moon17
Summary: "It's just Levi." He said as he clenched his fists, gazing into the distance as the Titans bore down on him. He slowly stood up from the blood soaked ground, unsheathing his swords, "I will avenge her and slaughter every Titan in my path! I will keep my promise!"
Relationships: Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to explore Levi's character from his perspective. How did he become the Captain Levi we all know and love today? This is my version of his origin story and the choices he was forced to make to become the greatest Titan slayer on Paradis.

My first memory was the acrid smell of sweat and semen masked in that heavy aroma of incense and perfume. I would cup my hands over my ears so hard they would leave bruises, just to muffle the screams and cries that came from my mother’s room. The men who cycled through her door would make my stomach churn and my blood boil; but I was defenseless. I was too young and weak. I couldn’t do anything to help her. That was just life in the brothel.

I was the only kid who the madam allowed to live there. The others had been sent to the orphanage or were simply abandoned in the street, but she always had a bit of a soft spot for me and my mother. It probably had something to do with her being the madam’s longest working prostitute. My mom was more beautiful than the other girls working in the Underground. Her long black hair and bright blue eyes attracted every bastard that set foot in that place. 

Some days when the madam was feeling generous, because my mom had made her a lot of coin that week, she would flip me a copper to take to the market and buy myself a treat. The girls were nice enough to me as well. They sewed my clothes and made sure I always had something to eat when my mother was too busy working.

All that changed when my mom got sick. I remember the day the coughing fits began. What started as dry rasping breaths, quickly devolved into blood-soaked handkerchiefs. Her regulars stopped using her and she fell out of favor with the madam, which meant I did as well. The weeks agonizingly dragged by and I tried to take care of her the best I could. Her rosy complexion turned haggard and ashen as her condition worsened; eyes of crystal blue became grey and lifeless, housed in hollow sockets.

In order to afford medicine and food, I learned to become a skilled thief. My small hands were perfect for slipping easily into the pockets of strangers on the streets. Sometimes the citizens of the Underground would take pity on me and give me food which I would promptly give to my mother. I ate only what little I needed to survive; her life meant more to me than my own. 

What I knew as life came to a swift end the day he walked into my mother’s room. I had been sitting by her bedside, desperately trying to bring her temperature down with a wet cloth. I glared at the man as he stumbled through the door, blind drunk and stinking of whiskey. 

“Hey Kuchel, looking beautiful as always. You slimming down some?”

My mom waved him off, “I’m sorry, n-not today. I’m not feeling well.”

He glowered at her, the look in his eye terrified me as he took a step forward, “I don’t give a damn how you’re feeling. I paid for you, now do your job.” 

I protectively stood up from my chair. “She said she’s not well today. I think you need to leave.” 

“How dare you talk to me you little shit!” He pushed me to the floor and kicked me in the ribs. I gasped and coughed then tried to stand back up. “Don’t be a hero kid. Do yourself a favor and stay down.” 

I ignored him, only concerned for my mother’s wellbeing. I pushed up from the ground and rushed him and grabbed him around his waist, trying to bring him to the ground. Even in his drunken state, he was stronger than me and threw me across the room. I hit the wall and slumped to the ground. As I looked up, I saw him forcefully take her shoulders and shove her back in bed then he pulled out his prick and thrust it inside her. Tears ran down her cheeks as her eyes met mine for only a moment before looking away in shame. 

She started coughing and begged him to stop, but the primal beast continued to ravage her frail body until she ultimately took her final breath. Heat ran through my body and I squeezed my eyes shut tightly and grit my teeth, trying to stop the tears from falling. I turned away and pulled my knees to my chest. 

“Ah too bad. You were a good ride Kuchel. One of the best. You will be missed.” I heard him say as I peered over my shoulder. He bowed to my mother’s corpse, then turned his devil’s gaze to me. “But I’m not a satisfied customer…yet.” 

My eyes widened as I gasped and shrank further into the corner of the room. He lunged at me and grabbed me by my collar. “No! Stop!” I bit and clawed at him but I was too weak to stop him. Too many days had gone by without a scrap of food to nourish me. He lifted me off my feet then threw me across the bed. I continued to struggle and thrash under his grip, but nothing I did could stop his raw strength. 

“Stop squirming! It will be over soon.” I could feel his putrescent breath on my neck as he quickly pulled down my pants. Then, before everything went black, the last thing I saw was blood dripping from my mother’s lips.


	2. Chapter 2

“No! Stop you bastard! I’ll kill you!” I sit up straight in bed as I jolt awake. I touch my forehead and close my eyes. Why am I thinking about that now? A knock on the door makes me look up. 

“Levi? What the hell is wrong with you boy? You want to wake up the whole city with your bawling?”

I narrow my eyes and glare at the tall, thin man, casually leaning against the door frame, arms crossed. “I’m fine Kenny. Go back to sleep.” 

He cocks his eyebrow, “We got a big job tomorrow. You better be ready.”

“Yeah, yeah.” 

He turns with a huff, “pain in my ass”, then shuts the door as he leaves my room. I shake my head, Kenny Ackerman, the man who saved me from the brothel. I owe him a lot. I know that, but man sometimes I really hate the bastard. I close my eyes again and think back to that day. 

The days blurred together after my mother died. I lost any will to live. Without her, what was the point? I started to waist away, welcoming death as a long-lost friend. Just as I was about to give in and succumb to my depression, Kenny Ackerman brought me back from the brink. 

“Ah hell Kuchel. What’s become of you?” He touched the back of his neck.

“W-who are you?” I peer at him from the corner of the room.

“Huh?” He looked my way with surprise in his eyes. “Are you alive? What’s your name?”

“Levi. Just Levi.” My voice was barely a whisper.

“Well Just Levi. My name is Kenny. I was a friend of your mother’s…” he looked over his shoulder at her. “A long time ago.” He took a step toward me and reached out his hand. 

“C’mon. I’ll take you away from here.” I shrank into myself. He put his hands in his pockets. “Ah, I don’t blame you for not trusting me. Come if you want, stay if you want, makes no difference to me.” He shrugged his shoulders and turned away then headed for the door. 

I was ready to die, but now that I’ve been given a chance, that would be selfish. I looked up at my mother and slowly lifted myself up from the floor. “For you mom. I promise…I’ll live.” I followed Kenny from the room and never looked back.

The memory fades as I open my eyes. Ten years have passed since the day Kenny saved me from the brothel. He’s the closest thing I have to a father, but I have no love for him, nor does he for me. I’m eighteen now, Kenny will expect me to lead my own team soon. I have to admit, I’ve been chomping at the bit a little to be a leader of my own gang and get out from under his thumb. I would finally be in control of my own future. 

The sun begins to pour through the window of the small shack we call a home and I get out of bed. I couldn’t sleep anymore now if I tried anyway. I throw the sheet off and groggily walk to the toilet. After I finish, I change my clothes. I hear a voice as I lift my shirt.

“Looking good Levi.” Lena whistles. “You’ve got a man’s body now. When did that happen, I wonder?” 

I roll my eyes. “Shut up Lena.” 

She saunters over to me and runs her fingers through her short blonde hair. “Oh, sharp tongue. How bout I show you how to use it properly?” She winks. 

“Not on your life. Get out of my room. Go back to Kenny.” I pull on a clean white shirt.

She crosses her arms and leans against the door frame. “Kenny sent me to make sure you’re ready. We’re raiding the MPs' cargo today. Should be enough to sell and get us out of this hell hole.” 

“When’s the job?”

“The boat will be loaded at noon today. Here put this on.” She throws me a military police uniform. 

“Do I want to know how you all acquired this?”

She laughs, “probably not. Just put it on and meet us downstairs.” She turns to leave my room but then stops abruptly, “oh and Levi…”

“What?”

“I wasn’t lying about showing you how to properly use that sharp tongue of yours.”

“Tch. Don’t be vulgar.” I pull on the leather jacket, but not before noticing the emerald green unicorn emblazoned on the back, is flecked with small traces of blood. “Disgusting.”

I’m not unaccustomed to blood. Running with Kenny’s gang in the Underground, it’s a part of everyday life, but I don’t have to like it. The day Kenny took me from the brothel was the same day he put a knife in my hand. He taught me how to hold the blade and within a year I was a pro. I became an official member of the Kenny gang. Lena joined us only a few years ago and from the first moment she met me, she’s never stopped teasing me. I find her insufferable. 

I look into the cracked mirror and my shattered reflection stares back. I’ve been told I look like my mother, same black hair, same blue eyes. I clench my fist as her face flashes in my mind. “I promise I’ll make you proud. I’ll get out of here soon. Whatever that Bastard Fate throws at me…I will survive.”


	3. Chapter 3

I straighten the jacket as I walk down the stairs. Kenny is lounged back in a chair and drinking whiskey on the rocks. “A bit early isn’t it Kenny?”

“Never too early runt.” He peers at me from under his hat and smirks. 

“Whatever.” I sit down and pour a cup of tea. “Lena says we’re striking at noon.”

“That’s right. Gonna be the biggest haul yet; guns, odm gear, rations. They’re sending it to the cadet training facility, but it’s going to make an unscheduled stop on the way” he chuckles.

“So we disguise ourselves as MPs, then what?”

“Have faith boy. You know Kenny Ackerman always has a plan.”

“Tch, right. It would just be nice if you would share that plan with your teammates every once in a while.” I take a sip of my tea. 

He sits up. “And that’s what you would do if you were a leader boy?”

I sit my cup down and narrow my eyes. “Of course. No question. I wouldn’t leave my comrades in the dark.”

He leans back and crosses his arms over his chest. “That’s a very naïve way of thinking Levi. Sometimes you have to keep things from your team, in order to protect them. You’ll learn that in time, when you have your own gang to look after.”

“Now that you bring it up. When will that be?”

“Let’s see how you do on this job, then we’ll talk.”

“Dammit Kenny! I’m ready.” I stand up as I pound my fists on the table. 

“You may think so, but you’re still too soft runt,” he says calmly, not letting my tantrum sway him.

My cheeks burn. I hate when he calls me that. I lunge across the table at him, but he catches my arm and slams me to the ground. He kneels on my back as he pushes my face further into the floor. “You’re too hot headed.”

“Get off of me!” He pulls my arm back and I can feel the muscles and tendons begin to rip. “You’re going to break my fucking arm. Let go!”

He releases me and stands and puts his hands in his pockets. “Like I said. Too soft.” I push up from the floor then rub my arm, avoiding his gaze.

Lena walks into the kitchen. “Am I interrupting a lovers’ quarrel?”

Kenny laughs, “Hardly. Just reminding Levi here who’s boss.”

“You better watch yourself Kenny. Levi is quickly becoming a man.” Lena darts her eyes in my direction. “I saw it for myself this morning.” She grins deviously.

“Stop lying Lena, you didn’t see shit.” I growl at her.

“Quit it you two. You’re giving me a headache.” Kenny rubs his temples. “Lena go get the others. We need to go top side and get in position.” 

“Yes sir.” She shoots me a flirtatious look then leaves the room.

“Watch out for that one Levi.” Kenny says, looking in the direction from where Lena had just left.

“No problem there. She’s vile.” 

“Eh, she means well boy. She wouldn’t tease you if she didn’t like you. But don’t let yourself get distracted. Pussy is a powerful thing.”

I blush at Kenny’s crassness. “Don’t be crude. I have goals. No one is going to distract me.” 

He smiles at me and lifts the brim of his hat with his thumb. “Good answer. Let’s go.”

We make our way out of the Underground to Mitras, the city that sits directly above us within the most interior wall, Wall Sena. “Look around you Levi. Look at the sloth and lavishness of these bastards that live above us. They think they’re better than us. Well we’ll teach them what happens when they look down on us won’t we? Got your knife?”

I pull the knife from behind my back and whip it in my hand. “Never leave home without it.” I grin. 

“Alright, let’s move out.” Kenny and Lena run to the docks where the boats are being loaded. As always, I’m their backup. I stay hidden in the shadows, my small stature making me nearly invisible to the other MPs who pass by. I watch as Kenny, with his silver tongue, talks his way into convincing the MPs on watch to leave their posts. I watch as he converses with a man on the boat, recognizing him as one of our own. Hate him as I may, Kenny is a tactical genius. He had replaced the soldiers on the boat with our men. 

Everything seems to be going off without a hitch, but as the boat is about to shove off from the dock, a man approaches Kenny. “Which squad are you with? Where is Koch?” Kenny stands up straight and salutes, the way everyone in the military salute to each other, his right hand clenched in a fist over his heart, his left arm behind him, “Koch went to the tavern.” He points over his shoulder, “breaking up a scuffle.” 

I clutch the handle of my knife tightly, ready to make my move. As I’m about to leap from the shadows to take the meddlesome MP down, I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up. “What do we have here? You seem pretty suspicious, skulking in the shadows like this.” I take a deep breath to keep my cool and turn to him. I salute and say “sorry sir. Had to take a piss, found a spot in this alley. I’ll rejoin my squad now.” 

He raises his eyebrow, “and which squad are you with? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before.”

Shit. I don’t have time to think up a lie. Instead I run him through with my knife. I whirl behind him and put my hand over his mouth to muffle his moan then slowly lie him down on the ground. 

“Hey what was that? Did you hear something? It came from over there!” I hear voices and footsteps running toward me. Kenny suddenly looks in my direction and glares at me. I’d single handedly blown our cover story and I knew it. The MPs are drawing closer to my position, so I do the only thing I can. I run for it. I have to make it onto the boat. My lungs burn in my chest. I’m almost there. I’m reaching for Kenny to pull me on, but a soldier grabs my leg and pulls me to the ground. “Shit!” As they wrestle me to the ground, I give Kenny a pleading look, but he just turns away and leaves me there in the middle of the street, surrounded by our enemies, as the boat filled with my last hope of a future, travels down the river.


	4. Chapter 4

As I sit in my cell, I have a lot of time to think. “That bastard.” I pound the ground with my fist. “That fucking bastard. He’ll pay for leaving me behind I swear it.” 

“Where’s this one from?” I hear one of the soldiers guarding me ask the other.

“I heard he’s from the Underground, the scum of the Earth, this one.” 

I close my eyes and smile, “say that again.” 

“What? You say something scum?”

I grab the bars, “I heard the MPs were as dumb as they come but are you also deaf? I said, say that again! Say it to my face.” 

The man walks over to me slowly and glowers down at me. “Did I stutter? I said you trash from the Underworld are the scum of the Earth. We would be better off to feed all of you to the Titans.” 

I can feel electricity pulsing through me, but as I’m just about to reach out and grab the guy to slam his face into the bars…

“That’s enough Lange.” Nile Dok, Commander of the Military Police Brigade, places his hand on the man’s shoulder. I had heard Kenny talk about this one; he matched the description perfectly; lean, black hair, shitty little mustache and goatee, gaunt face, beady eyes, yeah this is definitely the same guy. He turns and looks at me. “So what do they call you?” 

I scowl, but answer his question. “I’m just Levi.”

“Levi huh? No last name?”

“No…just Levi.”

“Well, Levi, today is your lucky day. You’re being released.”

I gasp, “why?”

He laughs, “would you prefer to stay here? The higher-ups decided you were just a pawn in Kenny Ackerman’s scheme. They’re more worried about catching him than trifle with the likes of you.” He opens the cell door. “Get back to the Underground where you belong and don’t let me catch you in my city again, or next time I won’t be so lenient. Do you understand me?”

“Yes sir.” I say incredulously as I look at my feet. 

“Men, make sure he makes it back to the Underground and that he stays there.” 

“Yes sir!” The two soldiers take me forcefully by the arms and lead me out of the prison. As we approach the entrance to the Underground City, they shove me to the stairs. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay there. Trash like you don’t belong with civilized people.” He spits at me and it takes everything in me not to slug him. Instead I clench my jaw and turn away and walk down the stairs; the darkness envelopes me as I descend further into my own hell. 

Several months have passed since that day in Mitras and I have not seen Kenny since. I went back to our house to regroup but was swiftly kicked out by the landlord since I was not able to pay rent. I lived on the streets and fought for my food. I promised to keep my oath I made to my mother all those years ago, I would survive, no matter what.

After a particularly brutal beating from some thugs I crossed paths with, I lay bleeding in an alleyway. Again, I feel that overwhelming sense of despair take hold. I feel myself losing the will to keep fighting. I roll over onto my back. “This is no life.”

“Hey? You ok?” I hear a woman’s voice call to me, but I ignore her.

“Buddy? Are you hurt? You don’t look good.” A man’s voice joins in.

Through bruised and puffy eyes, I look up from the ground. A man about my age with red shaggy hair, green eyes, housed in a round face, covered in freckles, and a woman, probably a year or so younger than me, with dark brown hair and eyes to match, with an angular face, look down on me. I push up from the ground and wipe the blood from my nose. “Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t trouble yourself.” I smack the man’s hand away as he reaches to help me up.

“Alright, no offense man.” He raises his hands. He’s at least a foot taller than me. “What happened to you?”

I shrug, “some asshole jumped me. He caught me off guard, that’s it. What’s it to you?”

“Hey, you don’t have to be so rude! We were just trying to help!” The girl shouts at me and places her hands on her slender hips. I feel my cheeks flush in embarrassment.

“I don’t need your help. I’m fine.” I turn and start to walk away.

“Wait.” The man stops me and puts his hand on my shoulder. “It looks like you’ve had it rough. Come back to our place. You hungry?”

I couldn’t ignore the hollow ache in my stomach any longer. I hadn’t eaten in three days. I look over my shoulder. “Yeah….I could eat.” He smiles and sticks out his hand. “Hutch Müller at your service and this here is my girlfriend, Nixie Shäfer.” 

“Oh, please Hutch. You wish I were your girlfriend.” She rolls her eyes then grins at me. “I’m not his girlfriend.” 

“You wound me my lady!” he places his hand over his heart and for the first time since I was a child, I feel the corners of my mouth tug and turn up into a smile. I chuckle softly. 

“C’mon, our house is this way.” Hutch leads us out of the alley and down the road to a small abandoned church. 

“You live here?” 

“Yeah, no one ever comes here. It used to belong to some cult, so most people are scared of this place.” Nixie says as she enters through the door, her arms raised over her head as she stretches. 

“A cult?” 

“Yeah, one of them Titan cults.” Hutch adds. 

“I’ve never heard of a Titan cult. What did they do?”

“Dude you been living under a rock?” Hutch’s eyes widen. I shrug, living with Kenny was probably the same as living under a rock. We never concerned ourselves with the petty affairs of people top-side or their fear of the Titans. Our goal was survival. Hutch continues, “They worship the Titans, believe their descended from them. They even believe they can use their power. Called themselves the Children of Ymir.” 

“What nonsense. No one in the interior has ever even seen a Titan.” I click my tongue.

Hutch shrugs, “well, people in cults are crazy.”

“So, what happened to them?” I cock my head. 

“The MPs found them and…” he exchanges a wary look with Nixie.

“What?” I meet her eyes. 

“They burned them alive.” Nixie steps in. “They were burned as heretics by the ones who worship the walls.”

“Such pointless deaths.” I shake my head, “and I thought I lived with psychopaths.” 

“Who did you used to live with?” Hutch questions me. 

I realize I let something slip, I need to be more careful, I can’t allow myself to get comfortable with these two. I deflect, “no need to talk about it. He left and he’s never coming back. I plan to make my own way.” I look off into the distance then quickly change the subject. “So what brought you two to this place?”

“Oh uh, Nixie and I were abandoned as children. We grew up in the orphanage. Once we aged out of the system, we were turned to the street to fend for ourselves.” 

Hutch notices my expression change, “but it’s not a big deal. We’ve done just fine for ourselves haven’t we honey.” He smiles and wraps his arm around Nixie’s shoulder.

She shrugs him off. “Oh, stop it. But yeah, we’ve done alright. Worked odd jobs here and there to make ends meet.” 

I take a seat in one of the pews and am suddenly aware of how heavy my body feels. “Bud, you look beat. Oh, that reminds me. I didn’t catch your name.” Hutch sits beside me. 

“It’s Levi. Just Levi.” 

He claps me on the shoulder, “pleasure to meet you Levi. C’mon, let’s eat. I’m starving.”

I nod and follow Hutch and Nixie to a small room in the back of the church. We sit at a wooden table as Nixie passes out bowls and tea cups. “It’s not much, but it’ll help you regain your strength.” She spoons some stew into my bowl. “Tea?”

“Yes, please…thank…you.” I meet her eye and see pity as she looks back at me. “Tch, don’t look at me like that. I don’t want your pity.” 

“I-I wasn’t looking at you that way!” She bites her lip and turns away from me, spooning stew into Hutch’s bowl.

He places a hand on my shoulder. “Hey man, it’s ok. Take it easy. We’ve all had it rough. This place brings out the worst in people, but one day…” He looks up and his eyes glint, “we’re going to make it out. I’m going to see what the world above ground has to offer.”

I hang my head, I want to tell them that it’s no better up there, but I don’t want to piss all over his dreams either. Everyone deserves to dream. Even Kenny said we would get out of here one day. I slowly bring the spoon to my mouth, lost in thought.

“So what do you think?” Nixie looks at me with her big doe eyes. 

“Huh?”

“The stew? Is it good?”

I put my spoon down. “Oh yeah, really good. Thanks.”

“My Nixie is a great cook. She’ll make really good wife material one day.” A grin spreads across Hutch’s face.

“You’re just asking to get your butt kicked aren’t you Hutch?” Nixie playfully punches him in the shoulder.

“I would gladly take an ass whooping from you my dear.” He winks at her.

I turn my gaze from them. (Is this how normal people act? They don’t seem to have a care in the world.) A sudden sharp pain strikes my chest and I gasp as I grasp at my heart. (What was that? Am I…am I jealous of how carefree they are?) I push up from the table, “excuse me.”

“What? Where are you going?” Nixie asks, concern in her voice.

“I just need to be alone for a minute. Thanks again for the food.” I exit toward the main room of the church then find a pew and sit down. I place my head in my hands and exhale a ragged breath. A warm liquid coats my palms. (Why am I crying? This is pathetic. I’m stronger than this.) I’m startled out of my self-loathing as I hear Nixie’s voice.

“Levi?” Her voice is no louder than a whisper. She approaches me cautiously, like one would a dying animal. “Are you alright?” 

I quickly wipe my eye. “Yeah, just needed to clear my head.” 

“May I sit?” 

“You sure Hutch won’t mind.” 

“Tch, Hutch is harmless. Plus, he’s in bed reading now anyway.” She sits next to me. “I don’t pretend to understand what you’ve been through. We thought you were dead when we found you in that alley.”

I shiver at the thought, “well I wasn’t and I’m fine.”

She turns and locks her gaze with mine. “You keep saying that, but I don’t think you are.” She takes my hand, but I recoil and pull it away. She lowers her eyes, “sorry, it’s just. I don’t know…there’s something that’s driving me to help you.” She giggles weakly, “I don’t understand it myself, but I feel like Hutch and I were meant to find you.” 

“I don’t believe in fate.” I say flatly. “You have to carve out your own future. No one else can do it for you.” I hear her breath catch and I sigh, “but you two did save my ass…I probably would have died. In all honesty I was ready to.” I turn to her and a single tear is running down her cheek. “There’s no reason to cry about it.” 

She quickly wipes it away. “I’m not crying!” 

I chuckle, “whatever you say.” We sit in silence for a moment. “Look, I think I can help you and Hutch.”

She looks at me, “help us how?”

“Hutch wants to get out of here. Well I do too. The only way to do that is to make enough money to buy passage on a boat to get us out of Mitras. Maybe leave the interior to one of the outer districts.”

“Leave the interior?”

“It would be a fresh start. Wouldn’t you like to live where you aren't constantly worried about MPs? In the outer districts, it’s mostly Garrison soldiers who patrol the streets and from what I hear, they spend their days drinking and gambling.”

“Who told you that?”

I look off in the distance, “just someone I used to know. Anyway, I think I can help you all get the money, but it won’t be easy.” 

Her body stiffens, “you’re talking about stealing, aren’t you?”

“Well yeah, it’s the fastest way to get coin around here and I’m a pretty great thief. Been doing it since I was a little kid. I can teach you all how to steal without getting caught.”

“I don’t know. It sounds dangerous.” She shakes her head.

“It can be, if you don’t have the proper leader.”

She turns to me, “and you’re the proper leader?” 

I sit up straight. “Yes. I promise you Nixie. I’ll do whatever I can to help you all get out of this hell hole.”


	5. Chapter 5

A year has passed since Hutch and Nixie took me in. I taught them everything I knew about thieving from Kenny. I had grown to see them as my family, and I wanted to protect them. I taught them strategy and all the ways to use your enemies’ weaknesses against them. We would often use Nixie’s womanly charms to lure unsuspecting men into dark alleys while Hutch and I waited in the shadows, just to jump the bastards and take whatever they had on them.

We were so close, we only needed just a little more for all three of us to book passage on a boat, leaving Mitras. “Here’s the plan. Tomorrow is the new year. Everyone will be out at the bars tonight celebrating another year of peace behind the walls. The city is going to fill with nobles and other highborns alike, seeking the illicit thrills the Underground has to offer, their purses will be full of more than just copper pieces.” I hold up a coin. “We’re talking gold.” 

Hutch and Nixie’s eyes sparkle in awe. “Wow real gold.” Hutch fantasizes. 

“But we have to be quick and silent, more nobles mean more MPs. We have to stay alert and on our guard.” 

“Right” they say in unison. 

I flip the coin in my hand. “Tonight, at midnight then. We strike, then we leave this godforsaken town forever.” 

“Boys, rest up. I’ll go make us dinner.” Nixie stands up from the table. Hutch grabs her hand. “And after dinner, we can take a nap before the big job.” He grins at her.

She pulls her hand away. “Stop it you pig.” 

He laughs, “one day Nixie, you will fall prey to my charms.” 

She rolls her eyes, “don’t hold your breath Hutch.” We all laugh together. 

I don’t believe I’ve ever felt this happy. Even though it’s only been a year, I’ve allowed myself to grow close to Hutch and Nixie, there are still things about my life I have kept a secret, but I trust them, and they trust me. I’ve proven to myself that I have what it takes to be a successful leader of my own gang. (Take that Kenny.) 

After dinner, I go to my room and rest on my bed, my arm behind my head as I stare at the ceiling. There’s a knock on my door.

“Levi? May I come in?”

“Sure, Nixie.” She slowly opens the door and steps in. “Need something?” She grabs her arm and bites her lip. (What’s with her all of a sudden?) I sit up as she cautiously approaches me. 

“May I sit?” she motions to the bed.

“Um, yeah, I guess so.” She sits down and stares at her hands. “Is something wrong? Are you nervous about tonight’s job? Don’t be, I know there will be more MPs but…” In an instant her lips are on mine. My eyes widen as I place my hands on her shoulders and push her away. “Nixie stop.” 

Her entire face turns red, “I-I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that. It was rash of me. I apologize.” She begins to stand but I grab her wrist. 

“Hey, don’t run off. It’s fine. It just surprised me.” Her dark brown eyes meet mine and I hold her gaze then sigh. I take her hand in mine. (I can’t afford any distractions.) “Nixie, I can’t. Hutch…he.” I immediately see the hurt in her eyes. I release her hand and stand up. Walking over to the wall, I then lean against it and cross my arms. “You deserve someone better than me. Hutch loves you. You should be with him.” Her body shakes as she tries to hold back tears. “I think it would be best if you go now. I’ll see you tonight for the job, ok?” 

She stands suddenly, “yeah, alright. See you Levi.” She doesn’t look at me as she turns the handle and exits my room. 

I lean my head against the wall, (shit. Why did she have to kiss me?) I touch my forehead. (Everyone I care about gets taken from me…or leaves…it’s better this way. I would rather have her be mad at me for a little while than get attached.) I take a deep inhale, then exhale slowly. (I’m getting them out, then they never have to see me again. They can live a peaceful life. I’ll find my own way…forge my own future.)

That night we silently travel to the most popular bar in the Underground. “Nixie you ready?” I ask tentatively, still feeling guilty from our exchange this afternoon. 

“Yeah, I’m good Levi.” She straightens the collar on her dress, “this corset is a bitch though.” I smile, (good sounds like she’s back to her old self.) 

“Hutch, head to your position at the back of the bar. Keep an eye on Nixie, I’ll be in the alleyway just behind, remember lead them to me, I’ll dirty my hands so you two don’t have to.” They nod their heads. “Nixie, you go in first, Hutch wait ten minutes, then head in after her. I don’t want anyone to think the two of you are together. We do this quick and clean right?”

“You can count on us Levi.” Hutch grins. “By this time tomorrow, we’ll be on a boat to Trost.” 

The three of us separate and head to our respective positions. Within fifteen minutes of hiding in the shadows, the back door of the bar opens. (That was fast, Nixie must have found a good one right away.) As the door opens, a short, stocky man, with auburn hair and small grey eyes, stumbles into the alleyway, stinking of vodka. I gasp as my eyes widen and the memories of that night, flash in my mind. (It’s him! The one who killed my mom! The one who…I’ll kill him!) Suddenly that electricity I felt in prison, rushes through my body again. I’m hyper focused and the world around me clicks into a sharp magnified version of itself. I feel heat rise in me as I grab for my knife. I grip the handle and rush the man. 

“You bastard!” I slam him to the ground and raise my knife high above his head. 

“What? Who? Don’t hurt me! Please! Who are you?” 

I can feel my eyes burning with hate. “Don’t hurt you? Did my mom get that same kindness when you were pumping your tiny prick inside her until she took her last breath?” I scream in his face. 

“Your mom? I don’t know who you’re talking about. Who are you?” 

“Of course you wouldn’t remember a common whore would you, you asshole. I’m talking about Kuchel! Remember now?”

His eyes suddenly focus with confirmation when I say my mother’s name and he starts to laugh. “Oh her, yeah she was a good ride.” 

“You better shut your fucking mouth, unless you want to lose your tongue!” 

He eyes me dangerously, “and you…yes I remember you now. You were just as good as your mother. He licks his lips. So young, so…tight.” 

Images of that night flash again and I want to vomit. I quickly recover and glare down at him and say as calmly as I’m able. “I’m going to kill you slowly. I’m going to slit you from navel to nose and only when you’re screaming for mercy will I finally oblige.” I lower my knife and plunge it into his stomach. He yelps and coughs up blood. 

“Levi!” Nixie yells for me, but I don’t turn around. I have to finish this, for my mom! For me! And for every victim who has fallen prey to filth like you! I drag my knife further up his body as his screams of agony fill the air around us. “Levi stop!” Nixie grabs my arm, but I shove her and she falls back. 

“What the hell?” Hutch runs from the back door of the bar. “Hutch stop him, please!” Nixie pleads with Hutch.

“Levi, that’s enough. Stop this now.” He tries to pull me off the man, but in my animalistic rage I whirl around and stab him in the shoulder. 

***********************************

“Hutch!” Nixie screams and runs to him as he falls over, clutching his wound. She cradles him in her lap and puts pressure on his shoulder, trying to stop the bleeding. 

“It’s fine, Nixie, really, it’s just a scratch. Get the MPs. We have to stop Levi, he’s not himself.”

“No! We can’t do that!” tears fill her eyes as she watches her dear friend lose himself in his rage, butchering the man beneath him. (Who is this person? He-he terrifies me. I can’t look.) She grits her teeth and closes her eyes, turning her head away from the grotesque scene. 

“Do you hear that?” Hutch whispers.

“Footsteps” Nixie’s eyes widen.

“Shit, the MPS are coming anyway. Levi has caused too much of a scene. We need to get him out of here.” 

“No, you can’t move like this. It’ll increase the bleeding.” Nixie cries.

Tears begin to fill Hutch’s eyes and he exhales. “We were just one day away from freedom. How did everything become so fucked?” 

***************************************

I stand and pant as I look down at the man below me, who is now little more than meat and bones. I look down at my hands and then my clothes. I’m soaked in his blood. (What happened just now? I lost control of my mind. All I wanted to do was kill.) “Hutch, Nixie!” I gasp as I turn toward my friends. “Shit what happened?” I run to Hutch who is lying in Nixie’s lap, his shoulder is bleeding.

“You don’t remember? You stabbed Hutch, Levi!” Nixie’s face is stained in tears. “You were an animal…a beast!” 

I stumble backwards, “I…what…?”

“Hey you there! You drop your weapon, put your hands up, and don’t move an inch!”

(Shit, the MPs. This looks bad.) I comply and drop my knife then slowly lift my arms, clasping my hands behind my head. The MPs wrestle me to the ground and cuff me. 

“Sir, Miss, you alright?”

“My-my friend’s shoulder is injured. He needs medical attention.” Nixie stammers.

“Koch, take this one away, I’ll stay and help these two.”

“Yes, sir.” The soldier obeys and pulls me from the ground. “Come with me you scum.” 

I do as he says. I don’t struggle, I don’t want to make things worse. (Nixie, Hutch. It’s better this way. You two will be better off without me. This is goodbye. Just please…don’t remember me as the man you just witnessed.) Visions of our time together over the past year flicker through my mind. The last thing I see before I’m led into the wagon are Hutch and Nixie’s smiling faces, all of us laughing and drinking together around the table in our small, but comfortable home.


	6. Chapter 6

The days blur together as I lie in my own filth. In this cell once more, the odor of shit and piss permeate the air. (What am I going to do? There’s no getting out of this one this time. This is the end for me.) My thoughts drift to Kenny. (You bastard. I bet you would revel in how low I’ve fallen.) 

“So, Levi, back in here again I see.” Nile Dok saunters up to my cell. “I thought I told you last time that if I saw you in my city again, I wouldn’t be as lenient.” 

I turn away, “guess I’m a slow learner.”

“Don’t be a smartass” He huffs.

“So what’s going to happen to me?”

He leans against the wall and crosses his arms, “well you murdered someone. It’s likely you’ll get the death sentence, hanging.”

“Maybe not.” I hear a low, commanding voice enter the room.

“Erwin, what are you doing here? This is an Interior matter, why is the Commander of the Survey Corps here?” Nile hisses.

“I’ve been sent to offer this young man a second chance. You know that Head Captain Zachary and I have a long history. He believes this man’s skills would be wasted if we sentenced him to death.” The Commander points in my direction and I connect the dots.

“Hell no. No way. I’m not joining the Scouts. I would rather be strung up than be eaten by a Titan. At least a hanging would be quick and clean.” I grab the bars of my cell.

“Hah, seems like the boy does have some sense after all.” Nile laughs and I glare at him.

“Be that as it may, he’s a wanted criminal and he really doesn’t get a say in the matter.” Commander Erwin turns and speaks directly to me. “As of this moment, you’re an official member of the Survey Corps. Training starts tomorrow cadet. Meet me at the wagon in thirty minutes. Don’t be late.” He turns and walks away, not giving me the chance to respond.

Nile shakes his head, “Erwin has always been a thorn in my side and now he dares to take control in my jurisdiction. Tch…bastard. Alright Levi, I guess you’re free to go….again. You lucky asshole.”

“You call a death sentence in the Scouts lucky? We clearly have a different definition of the word.” I roll my eyes and cross my arms.

“What happens to you isn’t my concern. Now get going.” He opens the door then turns on his heel and stomps down the hall.

The Survey Corps, nothing but suicidal maniacs. They willingly go beyond the walls and battle Titans on their turf. I rub my neck. (Shit this is not what I had in mind when I said I wanted more than what the Underground had to offer.) I begrudgingly drag my feet as I slowly leave prison and head for the wagon that will be taking me to my next version of Hell. (This is bullshit. I was finally in control of my own future. Now it’s all gone to shit.) I clench my jaw then let out a frustrated yell and punch the stone wall. I sigh, (it’s no good. Nothing is going to make me feel better. Let’s get this over with. Damn I could use a bath.) 

“So, they say your name is Levi. No last name?” Commander Erwin turns to me as I exit the prison. 

“Yeah, it’s just Levi.” I cut my eyes at him.

“Well, you’re now Cadet Levi. Welcome to the Scouts.” He holds out his hand, his blue eyes glint in the morning sun. 

“Tch, not like I really had a choice.” There’s no getting out of this. I couldn’t run even if I tried, this man is built like an ox, there’s a reason he’s the commander of the Survey Corps, I’m not stupid. I walk past him and climb into the wagon. 

It takes nearly the entire day to cover the 100 kilometer journey between Wall Sena and Wall Rose. (We’re heading for Trost. How ironic that this is the way I reach the city, Hutch and Nixie, and I were so desperate to leave the Underground for. I hope they’re ok.) I think as I stare out over the landscape. Captain Erwin has been silent our entire ride. It’s fine with me. I have nothing to say to him. 

“We’re almost there. When we reach Head Quarters, I want you to report to your section commander. He’ll show you to the barracks and you’ll be able to wash and change into a clean uniform.” 

“Understood” I say under my breath.

“Levi.”

“What?”

He runs his fingers through his blonde hair and exhales, “you’ve been given a second chance. You should really make the best of it. The MPs reported what happened that night at the bar. They also told me that man you killed was a known thug and a drunk. I don’t pretend to know what transpired between the two of you but know that ridding the world of one more monster, even if they’re human, is not something I would fault you for.” I raise my head and look up at him as he continues talking. “It’s our mission to take back our lands the Titans stole from us and to eradicate them, and to keep everyone within the walls safe. Head Captain Zachary believes your skills will aid us in this mission.” 

“I think you’re all crazy.” I put my chin in my hand and avert my gaze.

He chuckles, “perhaps we are. But you’ll never meet a tighter knit group. We don’t have the luxury of large numbers, like the other military branches. We see ourselves as a family, we trust one another. Without trust, we’re lost to the Titan onslaught. I hope that…in time, you’ll begin to trust us. To trust me.”

(How can I trust my captor?) Then a thought hits me and I gasp. “How does Zachary know anything about me?”

Erwin turns, “you made quite a name for yourself in the Underground. Do you really think we didn’t know who you were down there?”

My heart begins to pound, but I can’t let him see that he got to me. “Tch, what’s there to know?” I try to deflect.

“You were a member of Kenny’s gang and very skilled with the knife, your reflexes were said to be unmatched. We’ve been watching you for a long time.” 

“We? You’ve been spying on me? And you talk about trust. What a crock of shit.” 

He smirks, “we often send scouts to the Underground to suss out new recruits when our resources run low.”

“You make it sound like we’re little better than cattle being led to slaughter.” 

“It’s true, the Scouts have the highest mortality rate, but the ones who survive are the strongest soldiers in all of the military regiments. It is our job to find the best of the best, the strongest warriors. You have drive and determination; I can sense it in you.” 

“You don’t know me.” 

He chuckles again, “we’re more similar than you realize Levi.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

He goes silent for a minute. “A story for another day, perhaps.” He looks beyond my shoulder. “Ah we’re here.”

I step out of the wagon and place my feet firmly on the ground and stare up at the castle like structure that would become my home for the next three years.


	7. Chapter 7

Captain Erwin leaves me as I step through the doors to headquarters. “So you’re Levi?” A short man with a too eager smile approaches me.

“Yeah? And who are you?”

“Names Elias Klein, most people just call me Eli. You’re welcome to do the same. I’m your section commander and I’ve been tasked with showing you to the barracks. Follow me.” 

I follow him past the mess hall, where several members of the Survey Corps are finishing dinner. As I scan the room, I lock eyes with a small girl in the corner sitting by herself. Her brunette hair hangs in her face and her piercing blue eyes seem to bare into my soul. My heart beats in my ears, then I quickly look away to break her gaze and continue to follow Eli down the hallway to the barracks. 

“Here we are.” We stop in front of a room full of bunk beds. “That’s yours over there.” He points to a bottom bunk in the corner, a clean Scout uniform sits on top of the sheets. “You’ll probably want to wash those won’t you?” He motions to my own clothes.

“Yes, desperately, and myself as well.” 

“The laundry is that way and the bathrooms are just down the hall. I’ll leave you to it.” He waves as he exits the room. 

I gather up the uniform from my bed and walk down the hallway to the showers. No one is in the bathroom when I enter. (Good, I need some peace and quiet.) I remove my clothes and throw them in a pile on the floor and step in, pulling the curtain behind me. I stand with my hand on the wall as the hot water cascades down my aching body. (How did this happen?) I touch my forehead, (why can’t I remember killing that guy? I was acting out of pure instinct. The hate I felt for him. I’ve never felt a sensation so intense.) Salt begins to mix with the water running down my face, but this time I don’t stop myself. I allow the tears to fall and my shoulders shudder as I take a ragged breath. (I’m so tired…mother.) "What do I do now?"

“Hello? Is someone in here?” I gasp and turn off the water as I hear a girl’s voice. (Should I say something? No just stay silent, maybe she’ll go away.) “Hello? I’m coming in.” I hear her say again. I hold my breath as she passes my stall then I hear the water flow next to me. I let out a relieved sigh as I grab for my towel. I wrap it around my waist then step out. (Good she’s occupied. I’ll change quickly and get the hell out of here.)

I pull on my pants but freeze when I hear her say “Oh! I’m so sorry, I didn’t think anyone else was in here!” My heart pounds in my chest, (why am I panicking like this? Get it together Levi, it’s just a girl.) I slide my shirt over my head and turn around, however, my cheeks instantly fill with heat when I’m confronted with the small girl from the mess hall. She’s standing in her towel, her brunette hair a mess as it drips. Despite her slight frame, she has full hips and womanly curves. She stares back at me, those eyes of hers, it’s like she’s searching for something.

“You, uh…hey you wanna put some clothes on?” My voice breaks and I avert my gaze. 

“Why, am I making you uncomfortable?” She blinks.

“A little, yeah.” I turn my head toward her again.

“Oh, I’m sorry. You must be new right? I think I saw you earlier, when you passed the mess hall? You were walking with Eli?”

“Yeah, that was me. Why are you in the men’s bathroom anyway?” 

“Men’s room? You’re mistaken, they’re communal. We all use them. It’s no big deal really” she shrugs. “Oh, how rude of me. I’m Klara, Klara Fischer.” She extends her hand. I tentatively reach for it and clasp it in mine, a jolt runs through my body at her touch and I pull it back and rub my neck. “Levi. My name is Levi.” 

She smiles, “nice to meet you Levi.” 

I clear my throat, “yeah well I better get going, it’s been a long day.”

“Oh right! I’m sure you’re beat. Don’t let me keep you. See you tomorrow then?”

“Right, tomorrow” I mutter as I turn and leave the bathroom. 

Sleep doesn’t come easily to me. I toss and turn as my body burns with fever. I break out in a cold sweat as my dreams lead me through the previous events, the man I murdered, the terrified faces of my friends, the disgusting cell and the decision for my life, that I had no say in. Then like a soothing balm, her face appears. Her cerulean eyes sparkle as they lock with mine and I gently touch her cheek. She closes her eyes and leans her face into my palm. I feel my pulse quicken as she draws closer, her lips part. I place my hand on the back of her head, pulling her heat to me. I’ve needed this for so long. Our lips meet then our tongues entwine. I’m slowly lying her back as her towel falls to the floor, revealing her heaving breast. I run my hands over her supple curves as she moans, “Yes...mng...Levi...take me.”


End file.
